Too much

Despite my newly found unemployment (or perhaps “extended holiday” would be a more appropriate term – unemployment can be a horrible and overwhelming thing. I’m just on 3 months off with a guaranteed job in the pipeline) I have had the busiest week for a long time.

I am beginning to realise that there really is quite a lot going on in my life in a rather short period of time:

1) quit work, quit medicine… (gulp…)

2) move out of house and leave housemates

3) move back home with wee Liz

4) move (again) to Maynooth and clean and paint and garden new house

5) play a gig with a full band

6) organise, plan and partake in “stag do”

7) get married

All within about 3 weeks.

It was a good idea to finish work this far before the wedding.

It has not been without its stresses – whilst remaining immensely enjoyable. I find it hard to really feel it until i’m in the situation. People say “wow, you’re getting married, that’s huge” and i think “well no it’s just something that will happen”. But when I get married I’ll realise – “wow this is huge”.

That’s OK I think. Any time I anticipate the feeling too far in advance of the event then it actually always turns out to be anxiety. And I can’t be arsed with that. Who by worrying has achieved much of anything.

Maybe that makes me a cold-unfeeling bastard. I am desperately impatient in vitrually all aspects of my life. But perhaps not in my emotional life. I’m not quite sure what that means yet.

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May 2010

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