No distance left to run

My mother told me a lot of things. Some useful, some pointless. I unfortunately tended to forget the useful things (like how to identify trees by their leaves) and remembered the rather more useless ones. For example ‘if you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all’. Which I will admit contains some noble principles but if followed too rigidly would make the world a very quiet place indeed. When I think about it maybe there’s more wisdom there than I thought…

This is where the old 15000 miles came in handy. It is easy to listen from a distance, it is easy to confess from a distance, it is easy to criticise from a distance, it is easy to go off on a little rant from a distance. As a result it is easier to blog from a distance. Part of this is not having to face the consequences of what I might write, or can I rephrase that to say that I don’t have to think about facing the potential consequences of what I have written.

I have noticed since my return that the entries in my multi-coloured journal pages are becoming longer and longer and the frequency of blogs less so. I’ve felt the need (compulsion/common sense/wisdom/fear) to keep my rantings and ramblings somewhat to myself. I am an opinionated wee rat. I know this. I hope, and it is mostly hope not wisdom, that I still have the self-awareness to appreciate when and where an opinion is not particularly welcome.

It is not that I have lots of snide comments to print about people behind their backs, but I do realise that I have a tendency (perhaps more, perhaps less than others) to resolve every conversation with ‘you know what your problem is…’

And so I will continue to use the frustrations and the things that make me angry about the people I love so dearly, to cover for the frustrations and things that make me angry about myself.

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August 2007
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